I am sad to say that my partner in ministry for the last nine years, Pastor Tom, is retiring at the end of June. We have been a great team: yin and yang, extravert and introvert, female and male. To say “it has been a great ride” is an understatement. At times, he has been my calm in the storm. At times, I have been the match that lit his feet on fire. Tom has been my colleague, my pastor and he will forever be my friend.
A few weeks ago, Tom sent a letter to the congregation announcing his retirement. It was well received. We are now busy trying to create a celebration worthy of his impact, yet subtle enough for his approval.
Shortly after his letter went out, I got an email from a church member. He was sad to receive the news of Tom’s retirement, but ready to join the celebration for his ministry. It was a supportive email and I appreciated receiving it. It was the P.S. that made me chuckle.
He wrote, “P.S. after Tom retires, maybe you’ll get to be the Big Cheese”.
On paper, I am the Lead Pastor. At first, I wanted to chalk up the confusion to sexism or age-ism. Tom is older than I and has accumulated more years of service. Still, I wanted to huff and puff, then burn my bra! I immediately heard Helen Reddy’s song in my head, “I am woman, hear me roar”. It was followed by the chorus of “We shall overcome”.
Then I took a deep breath and decided to look at the comment from a different perspective. Once I did that, all I could do was be grateful. The truth is, I aspire to be a team player, NOT the Big Cheese. Let me explain.
I am an identical twin. We are hilariously competitive and the very best of friends. Growing up, she was the short stop when I played second base. There was nothing sweeter than making a double play. It was about knowing each other so intuitively that we had a rhythm that was successful most of the time. Of course, there was the occasional over-throw and the dropped ball. Let’s tell the truth. No partnership is perfect. Yet, isn’t that the kind of relationship for which we’re all striving?
Years ago, I was on Match.com. Yes, I admit it. I wouldn’t say that from the pulpit, but this blog is different. I intend to get real.
On my profile, I wrote, “I am looking for a short stop to my second base and a lifetime of double plays”. It was pretty descriptive. Don’t you think?
You see, from the very beginning, I was created as a partner.
All of this is to say, I am sad to see my colleague retire from our partnership though I promise to love him forward. It is also to say that I am proud that the lines of our titles were blurred. It doesn’t matter who did what. It doesn’t matter who got credit, or who specifically got the rare blame. What matters is the partnership of symbiosis. What matters is the mutual respect and the appreciation of each other’s unique strengths. What matters is nine years of double plays.
Do me a favor. Look at the partnerships in which you are involved. Do you have symbiosis? Are the lines of leadership sometimes blurred? Are you equally satisfied to lead and to follow? Do you have mutual respect and the ability to forgive the occasional over-throw or dropped ball?
It’s time to look at partnership in a new way.